“Moving on” requires many changes and new situations to navigate. When I am not sure which direction to take I ask myself, “Does this choice honor me?” This is especially true in romantic relationships.
There was one relationship I had that consisted of a Saturday night date…that was it for 4 months. The relationship did not progress beyond that. I really enjoyed his company, but, felt I was a convenience not a priority. On a 3 day holiday weekend, we still only saw each other on Saturday night. One Memorial Day weekend, it hit me so clearly. I WAS a convenience not a priority and I chose to end the relationship. I felt that was the choice that honored me.
By staying in that relationship I was telling myself that I did not deserve to be a priority in someone’s life. After situations like that, I ask myself, “What did I learn from that relationship and situation?” Sometimes the answer comes quickly and clearly, other times I have to spend time thinking about it. In this situation, I realized that I wanted and deserved someone that was available for me both physically and emotionally.
When deciding to “honor yourself” it is important not to pass judgment on the other person. This approach is from the inside out. All you can control is you. To improve your situation or relationships work on yourself in a positive, proactive way.
4 Steps to “Honor Thyself”
1. Spend some time making a list of what you want in a relationship. Be specific.
2. Think of some of your past relationships. Did you “settle” for someone just because it was convenient? Or just because you did not want to be alone?
3. Stay flexible. You are an incredible human being that is growing and changing. Our values and priority change.
4. Remember to reflect and ask yourself periodically, “Does this choice honor me?”