Full of Fear

My son was recently home on spring break. He loves watching all sorts of sports and on this one particular day he was watching a soccer match on television. I began to make lunch for us and suddenly I felt full of fear and stressed. Ignoring my own advice, I kept telling myself that it was nothing. What could I be stressed about? My son was home and it was wonderful for us to be together.

After a few more minutes, I realized that the soccer game on the television was really annoying me. It made no sense. We ate our lunch and after lunch, I decided I needed some quiet time to “be” with my feelings of fear. What was it about the soccer game that I was reacting to?

After a few minutes, it dawned on me. The light bulb went off in my head. Several summers ago, I was not working and money was really tight. We were living in Florida and it was a very HOT summer. Because money was tight, I kept the air conditioner on about 80 degrees, really not comfortable. That summer was difficult for many reasons. It was also the summer of the world championship for soccer. Whenever my son was not working, he was watching soccer.

Fast track to this spring break, when he was watching soccer, my mind and my body reverted back to that challenging summer several years ago. It was a relief when I figured it out. It reminded me of the behavior modification work of B.F. Skinner and the rats that I learned about in college. However, I am not a rat and I can change the way I react.

I vowed to change that pattern. The past was over and we now have our air conditioning on a very comfortable level and life is really good!

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