Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Children

This is a question that comes up often. When should I introduce my children to my new boyfriend? There is not a straight forward answer, but, the first meeting should be planned. I also feel that unless you are in a serious relationship, it is best not to involve your children. So, how do you introduce your boyfriend to your children.

Personally, I used the three month rule. My sons would not meet anyone unless I had been seeing them three months. It just complicates matters and I always felt is best to leave my children’s lives separate, especially right after the divorce. Of course, this would vary with the age of your children. Mine at the time of my divorce were teenagers.

What I was naïve about what how to introduce them. Learn from my mistakes. My boys and I were going on a vacation with other family members. My boyfriend wanted to join us because we were going to celebrate my birthday. On the big day, I chose white water rafting as our activity. I love it and my sons and I have gone many times. My older son was a white water rafting guide and I thought, what better way to all get to know each other. Well, while most of us were having fun paddling through the rapids, my boyfriend was scared to death. He was holding on for dear life and was crouched down in the middle of the raft. This was not what I expected. We stopped dating shortly after that.

My sister thought the situation was so hilarious, that she bought an 11” X 14” photo of that famous river run and it still hangs in her house.

My advice:
1. Plan the introduction in a group setting, some easy, neutral activity.
2. Have no expectations of the outcome.
3. Remind your children, that your boyfriend will not replace their father. They have only one Mother and one Father.

What has worked for you?

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